


You

by luckyumbra (blackvelvetopia)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 15:14:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18640669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackvelvetopia/pseuds/luckyumbra
Summary: During some time alone, a nosey Alfred can't help but bother Yao with some questions regarding his past





	You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [godtiercomplex](https://archiveofourown.org/users/godtiercomplex/gifts).



> I found a short drabble of mine from 2016. I thought that I would edit it a bit and share. 
> 
> I don't usually write so I hope this reads well...

Alfred gazed out at the waters below, at the colorful spectrum of fish underneath. He wondered if heading down, getting just a bit closer would scare them off; he wondered how creatures such as fish could come in so many gorgeous colors; he wondered what it would be like to eat one; there were many things on his mind but one thought in particular pertained to the person next to him. 

But instead of _saying something_ , there was a quiet, thoughtful hum from him as wondered if it should be something to bring up, or if it was even appropriate.

Yao, on the other hand, was focused on tossing handfuls of breadcrumbs over the edge of the bridge. 

He would sigh as he dusted off his hands and watched the fish rush and gather for their share of the meal, as if they hadn’t eaten in months. What greedy animals. 

The beaming sun was kissing the horizon, slowly easing out of sight, and the weather was finally cooling. It had been a hot and bright day, with the sun’s rays beating on their skin all afternoon and inviting a slight tan to Yao’s flesh — but not so much Alfred’s. For them, the shade and coolness of the night couldn’t come any sooner. 

“What’s on your mind?”

Had his hums been too obvious? He wasn’t expecting Yao to actually _ask_ him what he was thinking about, but it was too late to back out of it now. He knew that, Yao knew that. He was stuck. Alfred continued his silence, leaning over the wooden railing of the bridge now, struggling to find the right words. 

Yao, though, didn’t say a thing for he knew that when Alfred took his time to share what was on his mind — to _really_ think things over and not blurt it out in a rambling mess — that it was something important, a curious, pressing thought. He would share when he was ready. That was Alfred’s way. And so Yao was patient, calm. 

“It’s silly but,” Alfred broke the silence as he smiled a soft smile, still looking outward. “You’re so old.”

Those certainly weren’t the right words. 

“As I’ve been told—”

“No really, I mean, you must have had some uh... “ Alfred paused again and Yao, now, was even more curious as to where this conversation was going. “You know how some countries form these alliances? And it’s kinda like how humans form these bonds and get married?”

“Yes?”

“Like, has anyone ever asked you? ...To marry them?”

“ _Oh._ ”

“Yeah.” 

Alfred, he sounded — what was it? A little regretful now, as if he was ashamed for even bringing it up. Yao shook his head.

“That’s not a silly question.” Yao rubbed at his neck then adjusted the collar of his hanfu. “Yes. A few.”

“Yeah?” The enthusiasm in his voice was back.

“A human asked for my hand in marriage once. A man. I don’t think he realized that I wasn’t a…”

“A human?”

“A woman.”

“Oh!”

Yao laughed at the reaction and with that, couldn’t help but remember the reaction of said man who asked for his hand; it was just as funny. 

“I never told him the truth — about me being a nation, but regardless, I had to deny his request anyway.” Yao leaned over the railings, mimicking Alfred’s posture. “I can’t do that. I just can’t marry a human.”

Alfred didn’t say anything, already knowing why that was, and so Yao went on. 

“I can’t marry someone which such a short life. I can’t put them in a situation where they grow old and age every year while I stay the same. They would go insane. I can’t put a human into such a setting, such an experience... Humans— they need to be with other humans. Their lives are so short and so they’re forced do so much in so little time. The best way to do that, to experience that is with someone just like them.”

“You’ve thought about this.”

“Well, yes, I’ve had about 4000 years to think about this. And what of you?”

“I…” Alfred looked down at the sparkling water once more, recalling the people he’s known, he’s met, he’s befriended, he’s slept with, he’s fought with. “They’re all gone before you know it.”

There was a frown on his face and Yao rose an eyebrow to that expression. He didn’t like that expression.

“Anyone in particular? Lover? Friend?”

“I was really young but I don’t think I… I mean, I don’t…” 

“Oh, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, love.”

“Thanks.” 

Alfred gave him a smile, erasing that previous frown with this softer, thankful expression. Now _that_ was easier on Yao’s eyes and so he couldn’t help but smile back. Alfred just had that effect on him. 

Yao didn’t like to see Alfred frown, never liked to see him struggling or anxious. And he knew that Alfred was the same towards him. So protective, he was. 

“He died in a battle,” Yao continued, breaking the silence between the two. Alfred only looked at him, to which Yao meet his eyes in return, his smile slipping some. “He was a soldier. A brave one. I did have feelings for him, but it just wasn’t a love meant to be.”

“I’m sorry.”

Yao shook his head once more. “Don’t be. He knew very well what life he chose, as did I. I knew it would happen one day. He died honorably. There’s no reason to be apologetic.” 

The sun was lower than before, Yao realized, and the air was cooler on his skin. Soon they would have to return home. 

“I should have known better than to choose a soldier as a lover. This one though, he had a strong spirit, a stronger heart. He fought to protect. Not a common quality to come by in individuals.”

“You have a type?”

“You think so?” 

Did he? Yao took pause, thinking on that and couldn’t come up with a conclusion.

Alfred smiled to himself, an awkward one, and started to fiddle some with his hands. 

“Well yeah… Rome, right? He was a soldier.”

Yao knew that Alfred had never met Rome, but he heard the stories. He could only go by the information left behind, but usually refrained from asking Yao personally. 

“He was, yes… He was other things as well.” 

The very mention of his name would bring back so many memories for Yao. He wasn’t anything like his past lovers, as picky as Yao was with his lovelife. Rome had been someone special who none of those from his past had ever matched. Not the men, not the women. 

“He asked me as well. He asked me to marry him.” 

This got another look from Alfred, a curious one, and this time Yao wouldn’t return it.

“And I said yes.”

Nothing still.

“We didn’t plan this as nations. This was not to be a union of China and the Roman Empire, but a union of two people. It was to be secret. Just us. But it never happened.”

Yao wouldn’t have to tell him what happened to Rome, what happened to his empire. He was educated in that point of history, in the ones who came before him. And so Yao gave none. 

A pressing and probably intimate question, Alfred knew, but he couldn’t help but ask, “Do you miss him?” 

Yao took pause before he, eventually, nodded. 

“Yes.” The fish had scattered long ago, Yao realized, and he was out of breadcrumbs. “I do miss him, sometimes.”

It was true that Yao thought about him sometimes. He had loved Rome; still admired him, his memory, their time together. Yet… as much as he cared for this person, this ghost never to return, Yao knew honestly and full heartedly that there was someone else who he cared for and loved even more. There was no comparison. Yao was someone who dwelled often on the past, reminiscing about days long gone — however, in the present, he had something, someone else to focus on. Someone to stand by his side in the present, this present he had been blessed with and happy to have with Alfred. _Their_ present. 

“I do miss Rome but,” Yao started off softly, calmly, taking Alfred’s hands into his own. The gesture clearly surprised Alfred at first to where he had no choice but to look away, that awkwardness of affection hitting him head on. Yao noticed this before, how Alfred wasn’t used to this, wasn’t use to someone being so… genuinely intimate with him. Why did it scare him?

He would notice the disbelief in his voice when he talked about the very thought of being with Yao, as if Yao could have done better, could have chose better than him. That Alfred didn’t feel himself worthy, and questioning how and why someone like the beautiful, experienced, gracious glory that was Yao Wang could ever fall for someone like Alfred. That it all had to be a dream. And each time, Yao would tell him that this was very real, very valid, and very true. 

“Look at me.” A gentle demand.

And so Alfred did. 

“Sometimes we lose people in our lives and sometimes, and it hurts… sometimes we find new ones. I never want to undo what we have together.”

“...Well, shucks.” Alfred uttered, a bit of that Southern accent slipping through. He looked away again and Yao took notice of the reddening in his cheeks. He smiled. 

“I wouldn’t change anything for the world, you know that, Alfred?” And he kissed at his palm and then to his knuckles and it was funny because every time Yao showed such gestures, Alfred either found himself so flustered or he played along so nicely to where Yao was the one flustered and shook. He was so silly (both were) but Yao just loved showering him with affection. 

“You’re making me blush,” Alfred finally gathered the courage to look at him, at this man he held so dear. His eyes were softened and his cheeks flushed. It was working. 

“Good,” Yao was happy with that. Alfred needed to hear that. Still, there was something else on his mind through all of this. “I wonder… what brought these questions up? Of marriage?”

Alfred shook his head and took back his hands to slip in his pockets. There was a hint of a smile on his face and Yao couldn't exactly pinpoint whether it was a shy one or a sly one. 

“I was just curious.”

“...Has anyone ever asked you that?”

“Hmmm, no.”

Another thought came pressing on Yao’s mind and he wanted to ask if Alfred had ever wanted to do something as intimate, as special as marriage. Then *other* thoughts came and Yao found his heart skipping a beat. He looked away, rubbing at his chest hoping somehow to soothe and ease his wishful heart. He was being silly. There wasn’t a reason Alfred brought it up and so… so he would leave it at that. His distractions were cut short when he felt gentle fingers run through his dark hair. 

Yao huffed. “You’re a big bully. You’re going to make me blush, ai’ren.”

“That’s the intention~” There it was; Alfred had that teasing tone in his voice that Yao couldn’t resist… Yes, the two had to hurry home soon as it was getting dark and Yao was ready to relax the night away; dinner, a bath, a movie, stargazing, whatever else. 

But there was something else, another thoughtful hum from Alfred.

“...What’s ai’ren?”

Yao would smile as he simply took Alfred’s hand and started their walk over the bridge and down the path back home.

“I’ll tell you, sometime.”


End file.
